You really shouldn't be wearing that

After a brief conversation with my good friend, and after the Ugg boots rant, I realized that there are many articles of clothing that one should probably never wear. I go to the mall and I see very odd examples of what defines an outfit. Who in their right mind would wear that, I ask myself. I visit the fashion blog, Go Fug Yourself, and I realized that celebrities are not immune to weird, dare I say, bad fashion.

Celebrities should know better. They know that people will scrutinize them if they show up wearing something like this:



I don't know who this girl is, nor do I care, although I think she may be disgustingly wealthy. While the cropped poncho could be cute in, oh say, Colonial times, it does not quite fit in our modern world. Clearly she is wearing a patterned skirt on top of an already patterned dress. Or is it an apron? The asymmetrical hem doesn't work unless it is supposed to be that way, although I've never much been a fan of said asymmetrical hem. The whole mismatched, over-layered, wonky combination of clothing pieces make this girl look like she got dressed in the dark. The "fug" girls of Go Fug Yourself, put it best by saying she looked like "Eliza Doolittle circa her downtrodden flower-shilling period."

I'm not going to say much about it, but I think this photo of Jennifer Connelly says it all.

Let's talk about trends shall we? Now, I'm a fan of leggings. They keep my legs warm in the winter, and, if done correctly, can be worn with a skirt longer than a mini and a cute pair of mid-calf length boots, might actually look nice. Or, you know, if you're a ballet dancer. Much like the Ugg boot, girls seem to forget that leggings are yet another functional article of clothing that was meant to stay that way. Leggings were hot in the 80's and they had a brief comeback when girls started wearing them under mini skirts. Okay, I tried it. Shortly thereafter, I realized that it only looked cute on little girls. Anything looks cute on them. Mini skirts are another story. Say we lose the mini skirt. Say the leggings now act as pants. Which, again, is something you should only do if you are a ballet dancer. So, leggings as pants. Okay, not only are you wearing them with a short jacket or tshirt, but your butt, and panty lines are pretty much on display. (see here Oh Tyra! No!) If you want people to see you in tights essentially, then so be it. Otherwise, please only use your leggings for their intended use. Also, to further add insult to injury. You can get leggings in any color imaginable. American Apparel is boasting that their leggings come in 30 different colors (see here). Although, I'm not sure why anyone would want them.

Why do some people continue to make awful fashion choices? Baby doll dresses? Overalls? 50-75% of the clothes at H&M? Crocs!?!!? Fashion fades, style is eternal. I think we need to take a page out of old Hollywood and leave the trendy, weird clothes for nobody.

Uggggly boots

I went to school with about 200 girls with closets full of beautiful clothes that they never wore. Chances are, they woke up late for their class after a very long night of drinking. Hey, I've had those mornings, I understand the overwhelming feeling of crappiness and no real regard for how you look. However, despite my go to jeans and sweater combo, I would at least try to put an outfit together. Usually the poor girl is so tired and probably still drunk and she decides on wearing sweatpants or booty shorts, pulling her hair up into and oddly shaped half-bun which flops about on her head, Ugg boots (I LOATHE Ugg boot. more on that later), and some skanky sweatshirt that may or may not be hers.

This is somewhat forgivable. You want to go to class even though you may throw up in the corner, so you put together the best outfit you can. Extreme emphasis on somewhat forgivable. I wonder if these girls realize that their lack of fashion sense makes them look as bad as they feel. What tends to be worse is the fact that this "look," for lack of a better term, is the go to college uniform even when the girl isn't drunk or sleep deprived. She is just too lazy to put normal clothes on, because it's easier if it's laying in a pile on the floor! I saw this look many times in classrooms, the library and elsewhere on campus.

Now, lets talk about Ugg boots shall we.


(ewwwwww)

Who the hell decided that these are fashionable? Moving away from the aforementioned sloppy mess outfit for a moment, let's discuss how some girls try to make the Uggs look cute. My old roommate was the poster child for this. She had lime green, orange and pink ones which matched corresponding sweaters and a denim mini skirt. Really now, how functional is that? 3/4ths of you will be cold! So what if your feet are warm! Not only is that lacking in anything close to resembling sensical, you look ridiculous!

According to Wikipedia:

"In Australia and New Zealand, sheepskin boots have long been popular with people in rural occupations, who have ready access to the raw materials, such as sheep shearers. Their popularity increased as a result of World War I and World War II, when they were popular with aviators, because of their need to keep warm in non-pressurized planes at high altitudes. An exhibit of a WWI aviator's outfit in the Canadian War Museum cites the term "fug" boots. Ugg boots have also been popular with surfers and competitive swimmers since at least the 1960s, for keeping warm while out of the water."

Unless you're an Eskimo or an Australian farmer, or a surfer trying to keep your feet warm, do not wear Ugg boots. EVER. They were designed for function, not fashion. Girls, I realize you are just going to the dining hall and you've been pulling all nighters (academic or otherwise, and by otherwise I mean banging the guy down the hall), but people still see you. I don't care if you have them in 6 different colors or they are extremely comfortable, or they like, cost a lot, (like omg!) throw them away!!!!! Instead of looking like the perpetual morning after girl, please go buy some beautiful boots at Bloomingdales, a cute pair of jeans and a nice sweater. Is that so hard? Do you enjoy looking like a crackwhore?? And STOP wearing them in the summer!! WTF is up with that???

Please, throw away your Ugg boots, you're not impressing anyone. Don't even get me started on the trend of ugly boots the Ugg spawned. You know the ones that look like you chopped off the bottom the leg of a woolly mammoth and then stuck them on your leg? Or the ones that look like you have a Pomeranian stuck to your feet? (just because Sienna Miller wears them, doesn't mean you have to!).

Lest we forget yet another member of the ugly boot family:



I wish for a world in which ugly boots didn't exist. Maybe one day, those stupid girls will realize that they look terrible and burn those boots. I'll get a match.

Photographie

Here's a new batch of photos that I uploaded to Flickr. Enjoy.

Somewhat Useless Japanese Gadgets

I love Japan, and all Asian countries for that matter. If not for it's kooky, innovative art and fashion, than the mindfuck that is Japanese anime. I frequent the oh so cute and trendy tech blog, Geek Sugar, home to random blips of technology, geek chic laptop bags and devices and some of the strangest Japanese gadgets I have ever seen. From the country that brought us Nintendo, here are the contenders for weirdest Japanese gadgets (The following were all found on geeksugar).

This is an actual woven rug, but in tiny, mousepad form. They are available for $19 each from Museum, Persian, Native American, Gregorian, Designer, and Woolrich collections from joshinweb.jpg. Don't get me wrong, I love me a Persian/Oriental rug. I think they add texture to an otherwise drab room. I never thought however, to put one under my mouse. Sure, it would probably be better looking than my black gel filled pillow mouse pad from Staples, but I would wonder how an optical mouse would fare on it.

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While weird, this is actually kind of useful. Everybody knows that UV rays are slowly killing us all. Limiting one's time is essential these days. Wouldn't it be cool if your cell phone could tell you how strong the UV index is? The neat little charms start out as white and change colour as they absorb sunlight. (If you can read Japanese, you can buy them here). The price starts at $6, but goes up by how many beads and bling you decide to add (there is an option to add real Swarovski crystals). It may be a neat thing for people who, unlike me turn violently red without obsessively reapplying sunscreen, worship the sun.

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This was actually found on gizmodo.com. If I were maybe 10-15 years younger, I would want these for my doll house. Considering I had one of these chairs in normal size (I think it was pink with daisies on it), my tea parties with Barbie, Donatello, a rubber Ducky, and Snoopy would have been much cuter. However, I think the purpose of this mini chair is to act as a stand for one's ipod, cell phone, or as pictured, a pile of paper clips (cause you know, they need a place to sit?). I don't even know where one could buy this thing, or why one would want to. If your ipod says, "I'm tired of laying on your desk, give me a chair," first of all, wonder what you are smoking to make you think your ipod is talking to you, and then maybe consider hunting down this mini chair.

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Remember that scene in Return of the Jedi where R2D2 is serving drinks? Well I think whoever came up with this little dude totally was trying to recreate that scene. According to Geeksugar,

"The robotic refrigerator Asahi - named after the beer of course - not only pours the beer for you, but he keeps it cool in his inbuilt refrigerator as well."

I know a lot of boys who would love to have something like this in their apartments. It requires far too much energy to put down the Wii controller and get a beer! Why not make your little robot do it for you? I would probably replace the beer with really good Sangria, but that's just me. Apparently this is only available in Japan. Can you see this running around at a super bowl party? Hey give it another purpose and put the dip bowl on its head!

Stupid Girly Habits

So I was thinking today that women spend a great deal of money on things, whether necessary or not. I have over twenty pairs of shoes, eighteen purses, 2 laptop bags, more cosmetics than I can humanly use, at least eight pairs of jeans (when I only really wear four) and probably a myriad of other girly accessories and clothing items that are more or less extraneous.

If you are a boy, skip the next paragraph and know this. Babies come from handshaking and kissing and thats all you need to know.

If you are in fact a woman, think for a second about what things you spend your money on. How many boxes of tampons you will use in your life? Seriously, think about that for a second. You have your period for approximately 40 years, 12 periods a year, 480 periods. I buy maybe 4-5 boxes of tampons a year. That's a lot of tampons!! I buy a new bottle of shampoo and conditioner every month, I replace my mascara every 2-3 months. Another pot of foundation, another tube of concealer, yet another palette of lilac eye shadow and another very similar pink lip gloss to one I already own. Since the inception of Sephora, my addiction to beauty products has become worse.

I am not saying that somethings are essential - clothes, shoes, soap. But what is it about some women that force us into excess? Why is it that you feel you need those black patent leather flats with the red bow, or that velvet navy blazer, or that cute sweater in 3 colors? More than likely, if you were to run into me at the mall, I would be trying to convince myself why I need those shoes. Or, more accurately, why those shoes will change my life. Are some women born with a gene that causes them to overload on fashion? I think I have honestly spent thousands of dollars on clothes, shoes and accessories, and yet it doesn't seem to phase me.

So, will the fact that my closet is overflowing or that my dresser may one day actually implode stop me from shopping? No I don't quite think so. However to be nicer on my bank account I do shop at discount stores. (tjmax is my best friend). So allow me to scamper off and drool over the new issue of Vogue and stare at the unused beauty products sitting on my dresser and wonder what I actually use them for. Maybe I should do that with my shoes too.