Paper Cuts and Coffee Stains

Everyone who reads this blog, should be aware of my abhorrence of the Ugg boot and it's inbred family of equally ugly boots. Why I just said that is pretty pointless because it really has nothing do to with this entry. Frankly, this entry has nothing to do with anything. I'm suffering from a bit of writers block. Each topic that comes to my mind lacks originality and creativity. So I'm going to write about what is currently going on in my life. A trivial list, if you will, outlining in probably far too much detail my current outlook on things. These are in no particular order.


1. I went to the mall on Saturday. It was insanely crowded and there were far too many teenage girls in ugg boots (I could write yet another entry about why I hate ugg boots, but that's really not the point) for my liking. I was also with my sister which usually spells disaster for my fashion sense (we're not going to get into that now). I spent a grant total of 13 dollars on a tube of Clinique lip gloss. I don't think I have ever gone into a mall and spent less. Of course not counting spending nothing because that happens quite frequently. I had the intent to blow my paycheck on shoes and clothes, but it didn't happen. Possibly the crowds turned me off, or perhaps I really hate most of what is in the stores. The best thing I saw was a blue taffeta dress in Ann Taylor. It was beautiful, but if I wore it to work, people might think I'm crazy (not that they don't think that already).

2. I keep buying books. My book shelves cry under the weight of said books. I have a huge biography of Henry VIII's wives sitting on my side table right now, and I've only read 57 of 610 pages. Also, my "to be read" list is growing exponentially. Having a friend who works at Barnes and Noble who offers to buy me books with her 30% discount is proving to be quite bad for my wallet.

3. I turned 23 this past Monday. Presents are not mandatory but will be welcomed and appreciated.

4. I have 3 paper cuts on my hands. One paper cut is bad enough. Three paper cuts makes me wonder if I'm secretly a sadist. I have also managed to spill coffee on 40% of my clothes.

5. I am very behind on my netflix watching. I get movies in the mail that I just don't watch. I either don't have time, or I realize that I am just not interested. Hopefully when season 2 of Nip/Tuck comes, I will be more involved.

6. I love love love love my new Steve Madden boots!

7. I'm pretty sure I have a really awesome boyfriend :)

8. My job prospects look really good, but still a huge unknown.

9. The weather in PA has been abysmal. I blame my chronic stuffed up nose to said weather. Last week we had temps. into the 60's and 70's. This week has been snowy, cold, wet, slushy and awful. I wouldn't expect anything less from February, but I'm quite sick of winter. So, if March could not be crappy like it usually is, I will be one happy bunny.

10. I am not looking forward to paying taxes this year. I have quite a bit to write off but that still means I have to give the government some of my hard earned cash. I really hope I get a pretty nice rebate, which I intend to spend on clothes and clinique products.

Dear Santa....

Note: this post is fashion heavy, and very girly. Boys, you've been warned.

Dear Santa:

Santa, we've had a very strained relationship over the years. Sometimes you bring me exactly what I want, other times I question your mental capacity. Like those years I specifically asked for that autographed picture of Zack Morris and you failed to bring it. This year Santa, you better not let me down. I have been a very good girl this year; just ask my mom, my french pen pal, my yoga teacher, my ex-boyfriend, my dog! Since I am a young lady now, I require beautiful clothes and shoes. Items that are fitting for a well-refined, elegant, charming (HA!), girl such as myself. If you bring me one, or all of the following items, I promise to believe in you whole-heartedly and I will be a very good girl again next year. *ahem*



These are absolutely beautiful shoes. They would look so cute with everything I own! I think you will agree that I would look really good in these. Also, considering that I bought a really cute dress today (it was on sale!), I think somebody else should foot the bill for a coordinating pair of shoes!



I'm sure you are aware of my obsession for bags. Now, I don't carry my laptop around as much as I used to in school, but I still have to cart it places, like to work or that cafe with free wifi and unbelievable lattes. This is really what I need though. A functional, multi-use work type bag that I can easily slip my laptop sleeve into, and whatever files, books, and various girly products I need to throw in. I would prefer the brown one, but I will settle with the off white.




Okay so, normally I stay far far away from shoes and clothes more than 100 dollars, because I don't want my american express card to cry. However, I'm in love with these. Now I know that the elusive ankle strap and I haven't always been friends. They can sometimes make my slim ankles look like cankles. My inner ballerina wants these shoes, because they remind her of pointe shoes ( which she only tried on once and fell over), tu-tus and pas des bourrées. Also, it would be fun to say "do you like my Juicy Couture shoes?

Along with these items, a little Chanel wouldn't hurt, nor would the Adobe CS3 suite, or a car. Really though, what I would like this Christmas is for this stupid war to end and for people to stop hating each other. And not having constant writers block and inspiration for my novel would be fantastic. Anyway, all my love to Mrs. Claus and Rudolph.

Love always,
Rachel

You really shouldn't be wearing that

After a brief conversation with my good friend, and after the Ugg boots rant, I realized that there are many articles of clothing that one should probably never wear. I go to the mall and I see very odd examples of what defines an outfit. Who in their right mind would wear that, I ask myself. I visit the fashion blog, Go Fug Yourself, and I realized that celebrities are not immune to weird, dare I say, bad fashion.

Celebrities should know better. They know that people will scrutinize them if they show up wearing something like this:



I don't know who this girl is, nor do I care, although I think she may be disgustingly wealthy. While the cropped poncho could be cute in, oh say, Colonial times, it does not quite fit in our modern world. Clearly she is wearing a patterned skirt on top of an already patterned dress. Or is it an apron? The asymmetrical hem doesn't work unless it is supposed to be that way, although I've never much been a fan of said asymmetrical hem. The whole mismatched, over-layered, wonky combination of clothing pieces make this girl look like she got dressed in the dark. The "fug" girls of Go Fug Yourself, put it best by saying she looked like "Eliza Doolittle circa her downtrodden flower-shilling period."

I'm not going to say much about it, but I think this photo of Jennifer Connelly says it all.

Let's talk about trends shall we? Now, I'm a fan of leggings. They keep my legs warm in the winter, and, if done correctly, can be worn with a skirt longer than a mini and a cute pair of mid-calf length boots, might actually look nice. Or, you know, if you're a ballet dancer. Much like the Ugg boot, girls seem to forget that leggings are yet another functional article of clothing that was meant to stay that way. Leggings were hot in the 80's and they had a brief comeback when girls started wearing them under mini skirts. Okay, I tried it. Shortly thereafter, I realized that it only looked cute on little girls. Anything looks cute on them. Mini skirts are another story. Say we lose the mini skirt. Say the leggings now act as pants. Which, again, is something you should only do if you are a ballet dancer. So, leggings as pants. Okay, not only are you wearing them with a short jacket or tshirt, but your butt, and panty lines are pretty much on display. (see here Oh Tyra! No!) If you want people to see you in tights essentially, then so be it. Otherwise, please only use your leggings for their intended use. Also, to further add insult to injury. You can get leggings in any color imaginable. American Apparel is boasting that their leggings come in 30 different colors (see here). Although, I'm not sure why anyone would want them.

Why do some people continue to make awful fashion choices? Baby doll dresses? Overalls? 50-75% of the clothes at H&M? Crocs!?!!? Fashion fades, style is eternal. I think we need to take a page out of old Hollywood and leave the trendy, weird clothes for nobody.

Uggggly boots

I went to school with about 200 girls with closets full of beautiful clothes that they never wore. Chances are, they woke up late for their class after a very long night of drinking. Hey, I've had those mornings, I understand the overwhelming feeling of crappiness and no real regard for how you look. However, despite my go to jeans and sweater combo, I would at least try to put an outfit together. Usually the poor girl is so tired and probably still drunk and she decides on wearing sweatpants or booty shorts, pulling her hair up into and oddly shaped half-bun which flops about on her head, Ugg boots (I LOATHE Ugg boot. more on that later), and some skanky sweatshirt that may or may not be hers.

This is somewhat forgivable. You want to go to class even though you may throw up in the corner, so you put together the best outfit you can. Extreme emphasis on somewhat forgivable. I wonder if these girls realize that their lack of fashion sense makes them look as bad as they feel. What tends to be worse is the fact that this "look," for lack of a better term, is the go to college uniform even when the girl isn't drunk or sleep deprived. She is just too lazy to put normal clothes on, because it's easier if it's laying in a pile on the floor! I saw this look many times in classrooms, the library and elsewhere on campus.

Now, lets talk about Ugg boots shall we.


(ewwwwww)

Who the hell decided that these are fashionable? Moving away from the aforementioned sloppy mess outfit for a moment, let's discuss how some girls try to make the Uggs look cute. My old roommate was the poster child for this. She had lime green, orange and pink ones which matched corresponding sweaters and a denim mini skirt. Really now, how functional is that? 3/4ths of you will be cold! So what if your feet are warm! Not only is that lacking in anything close to resembling sensical, you look ridiculous!

According to Wikipedia:

"In Australia and New Zealand, sheepskin boots have long been popular with people in rural occupations, who have ready access to the raw materials, such as sheep shearers. Their popularity increased as a result of World War I and World War II, when they were popular with aviators, because of their need to keep warm in non-pressurized planes at high altitudes. An exhibit of a WWI aviator's outfit in the Canadian War Museum cites the term "fug" boots. Ugg boots have also been popular with surfers and competitive swimmers since at least the 1960s, for keeping warm while out of the water."

Unless you're an Eskimo or an Australian farmer, or a surfer trying to keep your feet warm, do not wear Ugg boots. EVER. They were designed for function, not fashion. Girls, I realize you are just going to the dining hall and you've been pulling all nighters (academic or otherwise, and by otherwise I mean banging the guy down the hall), but people still see you. I don't care if you have them in 6 different colors or they are extremely comfortable, or they like, cost a lot, (like omg!) throw them away!!!!! Instead of looking like the perpetual morning after girl, please go buy some beautiful boots at Bloomingdales, a cute pair of jeans and a nice sweater. Is that so hard? Do you enjoy looking like a crackwhore?? And STOP wearing them in the summer!! WTF is up with that???

Please, throw away your Ugg boots, you're not impressing anyone. Don't even get me started on the trend of ugly boots the Ugg spawned. You know the ones that look like you chopped off the bottom the leg of a woolly mammoth and then stuck them on your leg? Or the ones that look like you have a Pomeranian stuck to your feet? (just because Sienna Miller wears them, doesn't mean you have to!).

Lest we forget yet another member of the ugly boot family:



I wish for a world in which ugly boots didn't exist. Maybe one day, those stupid girls will realize that they look terrible and burn those boots. I'll get a match.

Stupid Girly Habits

So I was thinking today that women spend a great deal of money on things, whether necessary or not. I have over twenty pairs of shoes, eighteen purses, 2 laptop bags, more cosmetics than I can humanly use, at least eight pairs of jeans (when I only really wear four) and probably a myriad of other girly accessories and clothing items that are more or less extraneous.

If you are a boy, skip the next paragraph and know this. Babies come from handshaking and kissing and thats all you need to know.

If you are in fact a woman, think for a second about what things you spend your money on. How many boxes of tampons you will use in your life? Seriously, think about that for a second. You have your period for approximately 40 years, 12 periods a year, 480 periods. I buy maybe 4-5 boxes of tampons a year. That's a lot of tampons!! I buy a new bottle of shampoo and conditioner every month, I replace my mascara every 2-3 months. Another pot of foundation, another tube of concealer, yet another palette of lilac eye shadow and another very similar pink lip gloss to one I already own. Since the inception of Sephora, my addiction to beauty products has become worse.

I am not saying that somethings are essential - clothes, shoes, soap. But what is it about some women that force us into excess? Why is it that you feel you need those black patent leather flats with the red bow, or that velvet navy blazer, or that cute sweater in 3 colors? More than likely, if you were to run into me at the mall, I would be trying to convince myself why I need those shoes. Or, more accurately, why those shoes will change my life. Are some women born with a gene that causes them to overload on fashion? I think I have honestly spent thousands of dollars on clothes, shoes and accessories, and yet it doesn't seem to phase me.

So, will the fact that my closet is overflowing or that my dresser may one day actually implode stop me from shopping? No I don't quite think so. However to be nicer on my bank account I do shop at discount stores. (tjmax is my best friend). So allow me to scamper off and drool over the new issue of Vogue and stare at the unused beauty products sitting on my dresser and wonder what I actually use them for. Maybe I should do that with my shoes too.