Uggggly boots

I went to school with about 200 girls with closets full of beautiful clothes that they never wore. Chances are, they woke up late for their class after a very long night of drinking. Hey, I've had those mornings, I understand the overwhelming feeling of crappiness and no real regard for how you look. However, despite my go to jeans and sweater combo, I would at least try to put an outfit together. Usually the poor girl is so tired and probably still drunk and she decides on wearing sweatpants or booty shorts, pulling her hair up into and oddly shaped half-bun which flops about on her head, Ugg boots (I LOATHE Ugg boot. more on that later), and some skanky sweatshirt that may or may not be hers.

This is somewhat forgivable. You want to go to class even though you may throw up in the corner, so you put together the best outfit you can. Extreme emphasis on somewhat forgivable. I wonder if these girls realize that their lack of fashion sense makes them look as bad as they feel. What tends to be worse is the fact that this "look," for lack of a better term, is the go to college uniform even when the girl isn't drunk or sleep deprived. She is just too lazy to put normal clothes on, because it's easier if it's laying in a pile on the floor! I saw this look many times in classrooms, the library and elsewhere on campus.

Now, lets talk about Ugg boots shall we.


(ewwwwww)

Who the hell decided that these are fashionable? Moving away from the aforementioned sloppy mess outfit for a moment, let's discuss how some girls try to make the Uggs look cute. My old roommate was the poster child for this. She had lime green, orange and pink ones which matched corresponding sweaters and a denim mini skirt. Really now, how functional is that? 3/4ths of you will be cold! So what if your feet are warm! Not only is that lacking in anything close to resembling sensical, you look ridiculous!

According to Wikipedia:

"In Australia and New Zealand, sheepskin boots have long been popular with people in rural occupations, who have ready access to the raw materials, such as sheep shearers. Their popularity increased as a result of World War I and World War II, when they were popular with aviators, because of their need to keep warm in non-pressurized planes at high altitudes. An exhibit of a WWI aviator's outfit in the Canadian War Museum cites the term "fug" boots. Ugg boots have also been popular with surfers and competitive swimmers since at least the 1960s, for keeping warm while out of the water."

Unless you're an Eskimo or an Australian farmer, or a surfer trying to keep your feet warm, do not wear Ugg boots. EVER. They were designed for function, not fashion. Girls, I realize you are just going to the dining hall and you've been pulling all nighters (academic or otherwise, and by otherwise I mean banging the guy down the hall), but people still see you. I don't care if you have them in 6 different colors or they are extremely comfortable, or they like, cost a lot, (like omg!) throw them away!!!!! Instead of looking like the perpetual morning after girl, please go buy some beautiful boots at Bloomingdales, a cute pair of jeans and a nice sweater. Is that so hard? Do you enjoy looking like a crackwhore?? And STOP wearing them in the summer!! WTF is up with that???

Please, throw away your Ugg boots, you're not impressing anyone. Don't even get me started on the trend of ugly boots the Ugg spawned. You know the ones that look like you chopped off the bottom the leg of a woolly mammoth and then stuck them on your leg? Or the ones that look like you have a Pomeranian stuck to your feet? (just because Sienna Miller wears them, doesn't mean you have to!).

Lest we forget yet another member of the ugly boot family:



I wish for a world in which ugly boots didn't exist. Maybe one day, those stupid girls will realize that they look terrible and burn those boots. I'll get a match.